


A Broken Heart

by magos186



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-16
Updated: 2007-05-16
Packaged: 2018-08-20 10:48:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8246224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magos186/pseuds/magos186
Summary: Who do you turn to when the heartbreaks get to be too much to handle alone?





	

**Author's Note:**

> After watching Roadkill & Heart, it totally made me want to write this so here it is. This takes place in between Heart and Hollywood Babylon. (This A/N & story written in 2007.)
> 
>  
> 
> After killing Madison, Sam stops by Paolo Alto on the way to LA.

It was late. They had been driving for hours. Really Sam had been driving for hours, determined to put as many miles between them and San Francisco as possible. But as midnight was fast approaching, he knew they needed to stop. His vision was starting to blur with fatigue and Dean was already passed out. So he got off the highway and stopped at the first motel. He booked the room and drove down to it. He threw their bags inside and woke up his brother. Dean opened his eyes and looked around. Sure it looked just like every other motel parking lot, but this one seemed so familiar. “Where are we?” He asked as he got out of the car.

“Paolo Alto,” came Sam’s quiet reply. To say that his big brother was shocked would be, well, the understatement of the century. Dean had never imagined that in a million years they would return to the town that broke Sam’s heart, especially after what just happened with Madison.

“Sammy, what are we doing here?”

“We needed somewhere to stop for the night and this was the closest town. Look, I’m too tired to talk about it. I just want to go to bed.”

“Fine,” Dean replied coldly. He entered the room, locking the door behind him. Sam lay down on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Dean lay on his own bed and just stared at his brother. He was afraid that in this place the nightmares would return. But Sam was not the one who dreamed that night. The elder Winchester fell asleep nearly five minutes after he lay down, dreaming of the day that changed everything.

_It was time. They pulled into the parking lot in front of the church. Sam stared vacantly out the window as he had done since he got to the motel that night. He still hadn’t spoken since he said, “We’ve got work to do,” and Dean was worried. It was obvious that Sam was blaming himself for what happened. ‘If only I’d gotten back sooner.’ The older Winchester knew this thought kept looping over and over in his brother’s head because it had been looping in his own since the fire. Fact is, Dean was blaming himself probably just as much as Sam. ‘Winchesters sure love guilt trips’ the older thought as he turned off the car. The church stood ominously before them. Dean had never been so afraid of a building in his life. He knew what waited on the other side of those doors…He knew there would be people all wanting to talk to his brother, to say how sorry they were…how could he protect his little brother from that? How could he protect him from the pain of burying someone he loved? His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the window, which caused him to jump. A short Italian looking woman was standing by his door, moving backwards to give him enough room to get out of the car. As he got out, he took stock of the woman. She was about 4’8,” she had short black hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin. “You must be Dean,” she said with an accent. “I’m Ilaria Moore; I spoke to you on the phone."_

_“Yes. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances. I’m really sorry about what happened.”_

_“Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. And you were able to save Sam. I’m grateful for that,” she said as she threw her arms around the older Winchester. The woman’s sincerity was hard to understand. She really didn’t blame Dean, even though she knew he pulled Sam away that weekend. She seemed to be genuinely glad too that Sam was alive. ‘Maybe he wasn’t so alone’ Dean thought to himself. He was starting to like this woman. She seemed so kind and so welcoming, even in the midst of a tragedy. When she released the hug, she stepped back and asked how the younger Winchester had been doing. Dean informed her that he hasn’t spoken since that night. “He just needs some time. At least he has you to look after him,” she replied._

_“That’s my job,” Dean whispered as he walked around the car to get his brother. He helped Sam out of the car and Ilaria rushed to the young man, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back and flashed a quick smile. With big brother just a few steps behind him, he entered the church. The place was almost completely packed with people. Ilaria held tight to his arm as they walked to the front pew, where waited Matthew Moore, Jessica’s father. Mr. Moore hugged Sam and shook hands with Dean. They all sat down and a few minutes later, the mass began._

_The mass seemed to last forever. Dean wasn’t sure when, but sometime during it, his little brother had grabbed his hand. He didn’t fight it. He knew Sam needed to hold onto him, needed him to be a lifeline. He didn’t even care if people noticed. He didn’t release the hold until they got to the car. The Moores had asked Sam to ride in the limo with them to the cemetery, but he needed to stay with his brother. Dean was amazed at how well his little brother seemed to be holding it together. The mass was the easy part. The cemetery would be hard. When they got there, Sam once again latched onto his brother’s hand and refused to let go. Even when he placed a lily on Jessica’s coffin, he was still holding onto his big brother’s hand. He could feel Dean’s strength flowing through him as his own strength faltered. It was Dean’s strength that kept his tears at bay as they lowered the dark brown coffin, containing the charred remains of the woman he loved, into the ground. All he had left to do was get through the repast. If he could just make it through that without breaking down, maybe he would be okay._

_Sam had been to the Moore house plenty of times, but this time was different. The place was full of people. People who all wanted to talk to him and tell him how sorry they were. Why was it that when a person died, everyone else just says their sorry? Like they had some control over the events. Sam dismissed the thought as he put on his best game face. He knew how hard it would be to have to speak, but he also knew that his protector would be at his side. He believed he could eventually get through anything as long as he had Dean. So as the minutes passed into hours and the bodies blurred passed him, Dean stayed firmly planted at his side. He had managed to find his voice again, saying things like “I’m fine.” He was anything but fine. When he could no longer stomach hearing another “I’m sorry,” he excused himself, claiming to need the bathroom. Ten minutes passed and he still hadn’t returned, which had big brother worried. Dean walked up the stairs and found the bathroom empty. He tried the other doors, which were all closed, and found the master bedroom, two closets, a guestroom, and finally the room in which Sam was hiding. He figured it must have been Jessica’s room, from the way Sam was just standing in the middle of it. “Sammy?” he whispered._

_The youngest Winchester turned around, his face covered in tears. “Dean, I can’t do this,” he admitted. He began to gasp for air as he sank to the ground. Dean sat behind him, pulling the boy against his chest, wrapping his protective arms tight around Sam’s trembling body. “I—I can’t—Please Dean, make it stop. Just make the pain go away,” he pleaded through gasps and sobs._

_“I wish I could. I would do anything to protect you from this.”_

_“What—am—I gonna do—without her? Why’d you have to save me? Why didn’t you save her?”_

_“There’s nothing we could have done for her,” Dean whispered low._

_“You should have left me there. I can’t do this. It hurts so much.”_

_“I know it hurts, but I gotcha. Whatever it takes we’re going to get through this together. I promise we’ll get through this. We can get through anything as long as we stick together. I gotcha Sammy.”_

Dean sprung up in bed, sweat covering his body. Those last words echoing in his mind. He looked over at the other bed, finding it empty. He looked at the clock on the nightstand, noticing it was almost 9am. After steadying his breathing, he slowly got up and found a note on his brother’s pillow that simply said, “I borrowed the car. I’ll be back later. Don’t worry. –Sam”

“Don’t worry my ass,” he muttered as he reached for his phone. 

Sam had been sitting in front of the Moore house for almost half an hour, trying to build up the courage to go knock on the door. He was just about ready to get out of the car when his phone rang loudly. He pulled the shrieking thing out of his pocket and said, “I told you not to worry.”

“Hey Sam, have you met me? Whenever you say ‘don’t worry’ is right about the time I start worrying. Where are you?”

“Look, there’s a reason that I stopped here. There’s someone I need to talk to and I need to do it alone. Please, Dean, just give me a few hours. I promise I’m okay.”

“Fine, but my car better come back in one piece.” Dean’s attempt to lighten the mood obviously failed when he heard the other line go dead. He tried to figure out where Sam would go. As he walked into the bathroom for a shower he finally came up with the cemetery. He figured of all the places in this town that was probably the most likely place his brother would go. He had no idea that Sam was going to talk to someone about what had happened with Madison. 

Sam steeled himself as he got out of the car. He slowly walked to the front door and rang the bell. You can do this he said over and over in his mind. After what felt like an eternity, Ilaria Moore opened the door. She was surprised to see Sam Winchester on her doorstep, but she pulled him into a hug just the same. “Cuore dolce, it’s so good to see you.” When she tried to pull back from the hug, Sam stopped her. He just felt the need to hold onto her for dear life. She was the closest thing to a mother he had ever known and right now that was what he needed. A good five minutes passed before he released her. She stood back and took stock of the sweet boy she used to know. His hair was much longer than she remembered, his face looked weathered, as if he had lived decades in only two short years, and his eyes…his eyes seemed to hold all the sadness of the world. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but she bit her tongue and merely said, “Come in.” She took his hand and led him into the kitchen. She gave him a cup of coffee and quickly set about making him breakfast. “So, mio caro, how have you been?”

“I’ve been alright. How about you? I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch.”

“That’s alright. I talk to your brother every few months.”

“What?” Sam asked, his voice echoing the shock on his face. Ilaria simply smiled and said, “I exchanged numbers with your brother before you left. I check in with him every once and a while to make sure you are doing well. He is such a nice man.” Are you thinking of the same Dean? Sam thought to himself. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you are here and Ilaria will make it all better,” she said sweetly, putting an omelet down in front of him.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“Oh hush. What’s wrong?”

“I just—I just really wanted to see you.” Sam looked down at the food in front of him. What he was saying wasn’t completely a lie. After Madison, he just had the urge to see Jessica’s parents…but there was something he needed to discuss with her father. 

Sam played with the eggs a bit, but Ilaria eventually forced him to eat everything on the plate. Trying to argue with an Italian woman was like trying to argue with a Winchester…impossible. So he ate the food, which was spectacular, and the two just sat there talking for the longest time about everything and nothing. He wanted to tell her what had happened recently, but he couldn’t bring himself to sadden her, so he decided to tell her all about driving around the country with his big brother. She had managed to get him to confess their father’s death though. When he did, she just threw her arms around him and held him close for a good ten minutes. He had dealt with his father’s death and moved passed it, but in her embrace he just felt so safe, so loved. He never wanted it to end, but in time all good things must come to an end. And so did the hug, when Matthew Moore walked in the door. He was more surprised than his wife to see Sam. He was so surprised that he dropped the briefcase he was holding. Sam stood and the older man walked over to him. “Mr. Moore,” the young hunter said, reaching out his hand. 

The old man pushed it aside and threw his arms around the boy. “It’s so good to see you Sam. How are you?”

“He’s too skinny,” Ilaria stated causing both men to laugh. “Is your brother with you?” Mr. Moore asked.

“Yeah, he’s at the motel.”

“Good. Call him up and invite him to dinner.”

“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”

“Nonsense. Call and tell him to be here at 7.” Sam nodded and excused himself, going outside to do as he was told. When he picked up the phone, he saw that it was nearly 4. Dean’s going to be pissed he thought as he quickly dialed. Surprisingly, the phone rang four times before his brother answered. “Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Sammy? Where are you?”

“I’m at Jessica’s parents’. They want you to come for dinner at 7. Do you remember where they live?”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Bye.” So Dean didn’t sound all that pissed. Sam was happy about that, but he was also worried. Dean seemed distracted, like he’d forgotten that Sam had been gone almost all day. It was odd, but Sam didn’t think twice about it as he walked back into the house, saying his brother would be there. He had come to this place for one reason. He just prayed he had the strength to do it. “Mr. Moore, can I talk to you?”

“Sure. Let’s go outside,” he said, motioning to the back door. He could sense that this needed to be a private conversation. The two men went outside and sat on the deck chairs, facing each other. 

“I really don’t know how to say this,” Sam mumbled in a shaky voice. 

“Whatever it is you know you can talk to me.” The young hunter looked up at the man and clearing his throat asked, “How did you get passed it when your wife died?” 

The question was certainly not a shock to the old man. He just figured it would have come two years ago. Clearly something had happened…something else. He knew the question was not about his daughter. “Sam, what happened?”

“I met someone,” he said looking down at his shoes. “We only knew each other a short time, but I cared about her a lot. She’s dead.”

“Oh son, I’m so sorry.”

“It was so hard losing Jess…if it wasn’t for my brother, I don’t know what I would have done. But now…it took me so long to get over the pain and the guilt. How do I do that again?” 

Mr. Moore knelt down in front of Sam and took his hands. “Believe me I know what you’re going through. When Jessie’s mother died the pain nearly killed me. But then I remembered I had someone there to help me…a reason to go on living. For me it was Jessie. For you it’s your brother.”

“I don’t want him to worry.”

“He’s your brother. Of course he’s going to worry.”

“This is different though. I mean, I loved Jess for so long that when she died, it was like I couldn’t breathe. And I only knew Madison for a short time, but we just had this connection and now that’s she’s gone I just feel so numb.”

“Have you told your brother any of this?”

“No.”  
“Sam, death is a part of life. I know that’s easy to say and it’s so hard to accept, but in life there are no guarantees. We have to make the most of the time we have because no one knows just how much time we do have. You could have just as easily died in that fire. And it’s so easy to shut down and become numb to everything, but you miss out on happiness that way too. If I had stayed shut down after I lost Jessie’s mother, I would have never found Ilaria. I know it’s difficult to process the pain, but once you do you can move on. I know Jessie would want you to find happiness and I’m sure that Madison would too. So learn from this tragedy. Don’t let it claim you. Let your brother help you. Take some time. Go on a vacation.”

“Dean always did want to go to L.A.”

“Well, then there you go,” Mr. Moore said with a smile as he stood. Sam stood as well and looked him straight in the eye.

“Thank you.”

“Sam, you are such a strong man. I know you can get through this. All you need is a little faith and a lot of love.”


End file.
